


World on Fire

by bouncingclowns



Category: Ratched (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I hope you guys like it ahhh, Mentions of Cancer, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:53:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26870206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouncingclowns/pseuds/bouncingclowns
Summary: Gwendolyn knew the ebb and flow of the space. She swerved around bodies, finding pockets of space and slipping into them as she progressed through the bar. It was as if she could tap into its collective breath. Mildred, on the other hand, gingerly escaped being backed into with a slew of excuses and pardons. While she was never more than a few steps behind Gwendolyn, she had never felt less competent in her entire life.Their first time at the women’s bar doesn’t go quite according to plan.
Relationships: Gwendolyn Briggs/Mildred Ratched
Comments: 19
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

Gwendolyn’s hand laced through Mildred’s, thumb smoothing the skin of her palm. “Are you sure?” She offered her a prodding gaze which Mildred did not reciprocate. 

“Yes.” Mildred’s voice didn’t waver, but she was given away by the fine sheen of sweat that clung to her forehead. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Because I don’t mind leaving if you need more time.”

“I’ve had plenty of time.”

The inside of the women’s bar greeted Gwendolyn with the familiar scents of mingled perfumes and whisky. She sighed, squeezing Mildred’s hand a little harder when she sensed the muscles in her shoulders tense. Light dappled the interior of the reconstituted shed, catching on the dust that hung in the air. Mildred scrunched her nose as she wondered when it had been cleaned last, but a foreign voice pulled her attention before she could act on the notion.

“Gwen!” Someone bellowed, bringing the ginger into a tight embrace. She was shorter than Gwendolyn by three inches or so, and round in all the places a woman should be round, but her blonde hair was cropped short against her rosy cheeks, and she darned a suit and tie. “I was beginning to think you’d switched teams.”

Gwendolyn’s lips pursed into a knowing smile. “What, leave you without a pitcher at the bottom of the ninth? It’s good to see you, Gloria.”

“Yeah, you too.” Mildred’s cheeks warmed when she felt her deep blue eyes fall upon her, like she was studying the Rosetta Stone. “And who is this with you?” Gloria smirked, eyes flicking from Mildred’s brown eyes, to her chin, to her clavicle. 

Mildred shifted her weight closer to Gwendolyn, cheeks positively burning under her hungry gaze. “Gloria, I’d like you to meet Mildred Ratched. Mildred, this is Gloria.”

“I- it’s nice to meet you, Miss… I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught your last name.”

Gloria laughed, a deep, hearty chortle that shook the ground beneath them. “No Miss, just Gloria. I’m not respectable enough to deserve any ‘Miss’.” She pulled her into a tight embrace. Mildred choked, eyes stretching wide, but Gwendolyn couldn’t help the smile tugging up her cheeks. _She’s so ... cute._

“Geez, Gwen, where’ve you been hiding this one? She’s a peach.” Gloria’s tongue drifted across her lower lip. “A real peach. Prettier than the last one, too.” _The last one?_ Mildred’s brow puzzled. _I don’t know if I like this woman, Gwen_

She flicked her deep brown eyes to Gwendolyn, a silent plea for sanctuary twisting behind her pupils. Gwendolyn offered her a reassuring nod, before grazing her fingers across her shoulder. 

“Alright, Gloria; you’ve had your fun. 

Besides, Mildred used to be head nurse at Lucia State Hospital. She doesn’t scare easy. You’re more likely to get yourself committed.”

Gloria broke the suffocating embrace, holding her at arm's length. Her green eyes danced over Mildred once more. “Ohhhh, loony bin nurse, eh? Say, isn’t that there they were housing that wacko - what was his name - Tolleson? Before he offed himself, of course.”

Ice dropped to the pit of Mildred’s stomach and festered. For the reputation of the hospital, she had agreed to falsify his death certificate in the same breath Betsy had suggested it. She hadn’t given herself time to consider the consequences it would reap - the liberty it gave her brother to become someone else, to torment her from afar. Predeceasing this moment, Mildred was wrought with the constant sense that she was being watched, with the constant fear that something was coming for her. _Don’t do this, not now_. She fixed Gloria with her most mummified glare, arms crossing over her stomach, she pinched the skin on her left elbow. The blonde let out a huff, but it did the trick. Mildred opened and closed her hand a few times as sensation slowly returned to her fingers. “Fine, fine, I guess I’ll let you have this one.”

“I’m not a piece of meat.” Mildred flustered, but it didn’t have the effect she thought it would. Gloria ran her fingers through her crew cut with a smirk, and Gwendolyn squeezed her forearm. She was not dangerous, but she was still too smug for her own good. Mildred couldn’t decide if she was afraid of or for her.

“You’re a spitfire, Mildred. I’ll give ya that much!” She retrieved a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from her suit pocket, sparking one without bothering to ask the other women if they indulged. Mildred wouldn’t have obliged even if she had. “C’mon! I’m sure the others are dying to meet the enchanting mistress that Gwen’s been hogging to herself.” Another wink, and she sauntered off through the crowd.

What the bar lacked in size, it made up for with its maze-like seating arrangement. There was a dance floor to the back, but Mildred guessed it could hold no more than four or five couples. Mostly, women danced in the space between tables, gathering in the corners and along the walls to chat in groups or keep to themselves. Gwendolyn knew the ebb and flow of the space. She swerved around bodies, finding pockets of space and slipping into them as she progressed through the bar. It was as if she could tap into its collective breath. Mildred, on the other hand, gingerly escaped being backed into with a slew of excuses and pardons. While she was never more than a few steps behind Gwendolyn, she had never felt less competent in her entire life. When they finally popped through the other side of the dance floor, bodies leveling like fat co congealing in water, Mildred breathed a heavy sigh. _I’m being watched_ . Air tripped the nerves in Mildred’s spine, as if someone had just blown across her shoulder blades. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she calculated how far it was between her and the most destructive object. She estimated ten steps to her right for a bottle behind the bar, and three steps in almost any direction for a chair. _Enough. Enough! You will not ruin this for her_. 

Gwendolyn smoothed the spot where her hair stood up on the back of her neck with nimble fingers. “Don’t pay her any mind.” Mildred realized she assumed the fear plastered on her face was because of Gloria. Gwendolyn’s lips grazed the nurse's ear. Her breath created electricity that crackled like popcorn: slow at first, then all at once. “She’s all bark and no bite. She’s taken - happily, at that.” _We can leave whenever you want, I promise._

Mildred squeezed her fingers, fixing her with a tight smile. “I know. I’m alright.”

Mildred had half a mind to ask who exactly it was she was being introduced to, but Gwendolyn had taken her by the hand and led her towards a small pocket of women at the far corner of the bar before she could even utter the first syllable. With Gloria in the far left corner of the space were two women she had never laid eyes on before.

“Ladies, this is Mildred.” She clapped like she was conducting an orchestra. The two women ceased whatever piece of gossip they were discussing to study her.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Mildred breathed, chancing a small smile as she latched eyes with the first woman. She was tall and fair. A dusting of freckles danced across the bridge of her nose, and her grey eyes pierced Mildred’s brown ones like ice freezing over a puddle. Her pale pink lips plastered into a warm smile, and Mildred couldn’t help but find it out of place on her otherwise angular and chilly features.

The other woman, who Gloria now had her arm around ( _this must be her girlfriend … partner? Shut up, Mildred!_ ) was shorter, daintier. She wore a deep green dress which made her olive skin glow in the early evening. Auburn curls spilled over her shoulders, matching the pallor of her deep eyes. She was gazing at Gloria with a dimpled smile, her fingers tracing the other woman’s cheek.

“Mildred, meet Lainey and Camille.” Gwendolyn introduced.

The taller of the two women - the one with the freckles - took a step closer with her hands clasped in front of her. “Lainey. It’s nice to meet you.”

“A pleasure.” Mildred smiled pleasantly, but Gwendolyn could see the way her features drew back, and the uneven rise and fall of her chest. _She’s nervous._ Gwendolyn’s eyes narrowed. _Maybe this was too fast._

“I’ll get you a drink. Whiskey?” Mildred nodded her thanks, and brought her hand to Gwen’s forearm. She squeezed gently.

“Whiskey? Never would’ve pegged you for a whiskey gal.” Gwendolyn could hear Gloria grunt as she made her way towards the bar. 

It was busy tonight - busier than Gwendolyn had seen it in months. Couples dotted the tables, some locked in intimate embraces, some merely taking the opportunity to hold their partner’s hand without scrutiny. _“Your eyes held a message, tender, saying I surrender all my love to you”_ The old jazz standard thrummed from a musty record behind the bar. A few pairs dared to dance - slow, and steady, and completely caught in their own worlds. Gwendolyn peered back at Mildred. She was still standing, her lower lip sucked under her teeth as Gloria and Camille gabbed about something or other. _Shouldn’t have left her alone with them._ Gwendolyn’s stomach burned. _Should’ve taken her by the goddamn hand, and pulled her along with me._

“What can I getcha, Gwen?” The bartender, an angular, androgynous woman tapped a rapid beat on the stained wood bar behind her.

“Two whiskeys. Thanks, Sammy.”

Sammy raised a dark eyebrow. “ _Two?_ ” She smirked on ruby painted lips. “Never thought I’d see you in here with another dyke - not after the last one that is.”

Gwendolyn whipped around and snarled, but Sammy already had her head down as she completed drink order after drink order. “Just get the damn whiskeys, will you?”

But they were already on the table being slid towards her with two fingers each. “Someone’s touchy.” Sammy rasped, dullness twisting behind her eyes. _Christ, she’s high as a kite._

Gwendolyn tossed a few bills on the table, swiping the glasses from her when she tried to snatch her hand with spindly fingers. “Back off, Sammy.”

“Make me.” Sammy pushed herself up with her biceps so that their noses were practically touching. “C’mon, you know I can give you what you want. She looks like she’s never seen a pair of tits that weren’t her mama’s.” She nodded towards Mildred, whose back was mercifully turned _._

“I said back off.” Amber liquid sloshed onto her ivy green sweater when she jerked away from the other woman. “You’re high, and I’m not interested.” Gwendolyn spun back on her heels, ignoring the black speckling her vision. 

“So, you’re a nurse?” Camille sucked in a puff of her cigarette through her nose, still planted firmly in Gloria’s embrace. The blonde nuzzled into her neck, kissing up and down her jawline like she was sewing her back together with her lips. 

Mildred’s arms folded over her stomach. “Yes, that’s right.”

Gloria snorted. “Not just any nurse. Millie - is it alright if I call you Millie?” _No._ “Millie works at Lucia State - home of the certifiably fucked up.”

“The place where they fried that serial killer?” Camille’s eyes widened, and Mildred ground her teeth.

“A-actually he … committed suicide.” She corrected between thin lips. “His name was Edmund - Edmund Tulleson.” His name alone sends blood rushing to her legs. She felt her kneecaps begin to tremble. 

“Semantics.” Wisps of smoke followed Gloria’s cigarette as she waved it in front of her. “Say, Millie, did you ever get a good look at him?”

 _Yes. Better than anyone else._ “No, I never did.”

“My mama was a nurse.” Lainey chimed in, smiling faintly from where she was sitting when Gloria finished her interrogation. The small table looked sticky, even from Mildred’s vantage in the lowlight. “She worked on the front lines when we invaded Poland.”

Mildred studied the woman, who was really more like a girl. Her face hadn’t been worn by the burden of time or trauma. Lainey was, for all intents and purposes, still a child. “Your mother served in the war? How old are you?”

“I’m twenty one.” _God, I’m old._ Lainey blushed, tucking a few pieces of blonde hair back into her bun. “Um, that’s not … that wasn’t … I’m eighteen.”

“Lainey is our newest convert.” Gloria patted her on the back, eliciting a hollow _slap_ with her palm. “Or, I guess, she _was_ before you.” Mildred blushed. “What’s your deal, anyway?”

“My … my deal?”

Camille nodded eagerly, dousing her cigarette butt in an all-too-full ashtray at the center of the table. “Y’know, how’d you find yourself in a place like this?”

Mildred but the inside of her cheek. “Oh, I … well I suppose Gwendolyn suggested it, and I was free, and … what’s so funny?”

Gloria and Camille giggled while Lainey smiled sweetly, all in on some joke that was still lost on Mildred. “She doesn’t mean literally, sweetheart.” _Don’t call me that._ Mildred cringed, but Gloria pressed forward. “See, Camille and I, we met in college. She was romping around with some farm town hick named Joe. I swooped in and charmed the pants right off of her. Literally.” Camille batted her, a scolding squeal leaving her lips. “What, it’s true!”

Mildred turned back to Lainey, who watched the two of them with distant eyes. “What about you? Are you here with someone?”

Lainey’s grey eyes fixed her with that same pale stare as when they’d first met. “Me? Oh, no.” She breathed. “I’m staying with Gloria and Camille for the time being. Just until I can find my own place to live.”

Mildred’s brow furrowed. “Your own place? At eighteen? Goodness.”

A hush fell over her new acquaintances. _What did I do now?_ Lainey excused herself for the bathroom. _Honestly, I think I preferred being laughed at_.

“Lainey’s parents found her kissing her highschool sweetheart. Her daddy drove ‘em away with a shotgun, and told her never to come back.” Gloria’s eyes glazed over, and Mildred felt her stomach squeeze. “We found her sleeping at the Lucia train station about a month ago - travelled here all the way from Utah. Lainey said her girl was engaged to some millionaire with a fuck ton of kids. She saw her name in the newspaper. I never knew she could holler like that.”

There was a gentleness to the way Gloria spoke about Lainey. Her features softened, and the playful glint behind her eyes vanished into a stoic yearning. Mildred’s chest fluttered out of some amalgam of pity for Lainey, and guilt for judging Gloria as quickly as she did. A hand tapped her hip bone, and she jumped. Her knuckles went white around the head of a chair, biceps tensing as she got ready to swing it at who was behind her. “Sorry.” Gwendolyn murmured as she handed her a glass. If she had noticed the uptick in Mildred’s breathing, she did not acknowledge it. “Where’s Lainey?”

The tips of Mildred’s ears warmed as adrenaline rushed out of her muscles. “She, um-“

“She just went to the bathroom.” Camille smiled gracefully, sending a wink towards Mildred. 

Gwendolyn tutted. “Poor girl. Did they tell you what happened?” Her fingers danced around the rim of her own glass.

“Awe c’mon then.” Camille lifted what appeared to be some sort of gin drink. “I didn’t agree to get all dolled up after a week of pushing papers and playing grab-ass with my boss just so you all could depress us. Tonight’s supposed to be a celebration!”

“Here, here.” Gloria burped as the last of her drink slid down her throat. Mildred’s eyes narrowed. _Honestly, she’s as bad as a man._

As if on cue, the music faded and gave way to a new tune. “ _He says murder, he says! Every time we kiss.”_

“Christ, who put this record together?” Gwendolyn shook her head, and Mildred felt her insides warm. _Who knew she was such a music snob_?

Gloria bowed with enough grandeur to fill a great hall and offered her hand to Camille, who took it blushingly and followed her onto the dance floor. Mildred watched as Gloria twirled her around, catching her in her arms so Camille’s back was flush against her. Gloria’s lips lingered on her cheek. Camille giggled, and they started to sway.

“They’re sweet together.” Mildred’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Gwendolyn watched her sip her whiskey. Sensation prickled on her cheeks. She found herself stuck between asking Mildred to dance, and the very real possibility that she would be told no. She had learned early on in their relationship ( _whatever it is you would call what Mildred and I have_ ) that pushing the nurse too far only ever led to the fortification of her walls.

The song switched again, a lazy guitar strummed. _“I don’t want to set the world on fire. I just want to start a flame in your heart.”_ Gwendolyn smiled, humming pleasantly.

“I love this song.” She breathed.

“Should we …” Mildred’s bottom lip caught between her teeth. “I mean, if you’d _like_ to … to …” _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Gwendolyn took her hand before she could fluster herself further, thumb prickling the nerves in her knuckle. “I’d love to dance with you.” She said it in earnest, green eyes glinting. 

_“I’ve lost all ambition for worldly acclaim, I just want to be the one you love.”_

Mildred, true to herself, hesitated before placing her arms around Gwendolyn’s shoulders. She smiled faintly, eyes darting across the growing crowd. Gloria and Camille were flush against one another, cheek to cheek. Somewhere between the last two songs, Lainey had found her way to the bar, where she watched women dance with a sort of yearning that Mildred knew all too well. The bartender - a gaunt, jarring wisp of a woman with jet black hair and darker eyes -found spare moments to take shots of whatever booze was closest between completing orders. 

“Hey.” Gwendolyn brought a finger to trace her cheekbone, green eyes glittering like aventurine. “Thank you for coming with me, tonight.”

Mildred brought her fingers to the base of her skull. “I wasn’t sure I’d like it, but … it’s nice.” She admitted. “Your friends seem nice, even Gloria.”

Gwendolyn snorted. “I don’t think she knows what a filter is, that one. We were roommates our first year of college. She introduced me to my … my first girlfriend.” Gwendolyn’s cheeks flushed. “It’s funny how the world works; almost like the universe knew we needed each other.”

“I understand.” Mildred nodded. _It’s how I feel about you_. 

_“And with your admission that you’d feel the same, I’ll have reached the goal I’m dreaming of, believe me.”_

“Are you alright?” Gwendolyn’s voice was practically a whisper. “You’ve been awfully quiet.” Her grasp around Mildred’s waist tightened and she pressed her closer like she was shielding her from the world.

Mildred shook her head. “Hm? Oh, I’m fine. Just … I can’t believe I was so scared of this place.”

Gloria and Camille pushed through the crowd to a dark corner. From her vantage, Mildred saw Gloria whisper something to make her giggle before kissing Camille. The brunette’s fingers came to play with the collar of her suit.

“If I had known all it took was me practically dying to get you here, I would’ve gotten shot a lot sooner. And cancer, too, for that matter.” Worry creased Mildred’s features, something dark shot behind her already deep eyes. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t funny.”

Mildred’s fingers pulled away from the base of her skull. Panic tinged in her stomach when some of Gwendolyn’s hair came with them. She shook it off before the other could see, the strands falling slowly before hitting the wooden floor of the bar and disappearing under the increasing darkness cast by the setting sun.

“I just mean I know how much being heat scares you, and I’m honored that you would accompany me.”

Mildred touched her cheek with gossamer fingers. “Oh, Gwendolyn, I-“

The record scratched as it came to a halt. “SCATTER!” Sammy banged on the bar before jumping over it with one fluidmotion. The bar erupted into silent movement. Electricity buzzed through Mildred’s ears as Gwendolyn pulled her through the crowd, grabbing their purses and then shoving into the bathroom. 

“Gwendolyn, what’s-“

“ _Shh!_ Cops. Follow me.” She placed the palm of her hand across Mildred’s lips.

Mildred stiffened and had the instinct to jerk out of her grasp, but the urgency in her other’s voice stopped her. Gwendolyn pushed through the bathroom doors and wasted no time before climbing on the sink and hoisting the window pain. She turned around to offer Mildred a hand. “You can’t be serious.” On the other side of the door, Mildred the distinct boom of a man’s voice, and wood being splintered. _I guess she’s serious_. Mildred took her hand, following her lead as she pulled herself through the window one leg at a time. Gwendolyn landed like a cat, feet hitting the soft earth with a wet thump. Mildred, on the other hand, teetered as she made contact and ended up on her side. Once they were both safe, Gwendolyn led them into the forest, running with the force of a woman in her prime.

They were surrounded by women - some in dresses, some suits. Somewhere behind them, Mildred could hear gunshots fire. She screamed in spite of herself, jerking away from the sound and stumbling into a tree shoulder first. Her neck gave out and she whacked her temple against a branch. When she looked up, eyes fuzzy around the edges, Gwendolyn was gone. Her throat closed. Bodies whipped through the trees, sprinting in every direction, but none of them seemed to notice her.

“Gwendolyn?”

The woods around her went still all at once, like being in the eye of a storm. Mildred pushed off the trunk of the tree and stumbled a few steps to her left. She could still hear the commotion at the bar, although she could not see it. Voices muddled with the shackling of metal. One voice of a particularly deep tambor boomed above the rest. _It’s him. It’s Edmund._ Mildred blinked hard. _He’s found me._ Something sounded from a direction she couldn’t place. 

“Gwendolyn?” Her voice came as a whisper. 

She was running before her brain could process what was happening. Mildred dodged trees with an ease that was unbecoming of her. Wind pressed against her face, blearing tears against her cheeks as she sprinted in any direction she could find a pocket of space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness I hope y’all enjoy this story! There are two more installments of World on Fire, which I am working to get out on a weekly basis.  
> In the meanwhile, I would live to hear your thoughts on this first chapter! Feel free to reach out in the comments, or on my Tumblr ratchedspeach.Tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than the last one, but I didn’t want to force an ending on it that wasn’t there. I hope you enjoy (-: I would really love to hear from readers on this story! It’s quite different from my usual work.

She was thirteen again, sprinting down the steps of what was supposed to be her and Edmund’s permanent sanctuary. “ _ Mildred, run! _ ” Edmund’s voice echoed in her ears. Branches slapped her face, but she kept pushing towards whatever way she decided forward was, until her heel got caught on a vine and sent her toppling onto her elbows.  _ “Millie, oh Millie! _ ” Edmund’s voice singsonged once more. Mildred yelped, tripping over her own feet and lurching forward. Her vision doubled when her head took the brute of the fall once more.  _ No, no, no. Keep going. You have to keep going _ . Mildred staggered up, knees knocking against the uneven earth. The woods morphed before her very eyes - monsters lunged for her with red eyes and glinting teeth. Fingers pressed into the flesh of her abdomen, lingering despite her attempts to push them off. A hand in earnest brushed across her shoulder, and Mildred screwed her eyes shut.  _ This is it. Oh God, I’m going to die out here _ . Another came across her mouth to stifle the scream teetering on the edge of her lips. Mildred fought against the touch. She palmed the hand on her shoulder, twisting it until she heard a crack.  _ It’s him, it’s him, it’s him.  _

“Christ, Mildred,  _ owe! _ ” She knew that voice. Whatever apparition danced behind her pupils stilled and gave way to darkness.

“G-Gwen?” She couldn’t fit the last two cyclables in one breath. Gwendolyn cradled her left wrist, face screwed up in pain. “Gwen, is th-that-?”

“Yeah.” Mildred’s lungs shuttered and burned.  _ I hurt her. I hurt Gwen.  _ “I lost you there for a second. Where did you go?”

But Mildred couldn’t respond, could barely breathe with the amalgam of panic and exhaustion that continued to creep into her system. Gwendolyn had her arms out before Mildred’s knees had a chance to buckle. She caught her, teetering slightly as she landed with her full weight. Mildred clawed at the front of her blouse, fingers pulling clumsily across the strand of buttons. “C-cah-“ She couldn’t finish, but Gwendolyn understood.  _ Can’t breath.  _ Gwendolyn brought them down against the earth, pulling Mildred against her chest and stroking her sweat-soaked hair. Her usually meticulous bun had disappeared at some point during their separation. Gwendolyn’s nostrils flared as strands of hair tickled her neck, the scent of lavender and thyme shampoo lingering on her nose.

“It’s me. You’re safe.” She whispered against her skin.  _ She’s so cold.  _ Gwendolyn took one of Mildred’s hands and placed it against her own rib cage. “Can you copy my breathing?” Mildred shook her head. “Can you try? For me.” Her fingers curled in as the older woman’s rib cage expanded beneath them, heart thundering in her ears. Ignoring the pain that shot through her wrist, Gwendolyn brought her palm to her cheek. “That’s right, love. Just focus on me.” Mildred nodded, chocolate eyes wide as she sucked in another jerky breath.

“Are you alright?” Gwendolyn asked once she felt Mildred’s trembling begin to subside.

Mildred nodded, but couldn’t hide the hiss she intoned when Gwendolyn started brushing debris off her kneecaps. “It’s just a scrape.”

“I can see that.” Fingers traced the outside of Mildred’s ankle. “But are you  _ alright? _ ”  _ You scared me half to death.  _ Panic crept across Mildred’s nervous system at the insistence, but her hand was still on Gwendolyn’s back, and she managed to keep it at bay, bobbing her head and even forcing a small smile.

“I will be.” She croaked when she found no breath to support her voice. Gwendolyn gave her a knowing look, but Mildred cleared her throat. “What happened back there? How did they find us?”  _ Us _ . The word left a taste on Mildred’s tongue that wasn’t quite sour, but certainly wasn’t sweet.

“It happens more than you’d think.” Gwendolyn’s chest contracted, she wheezed heavily as she now focused her attention on her own breath. “They have an arrest quota. Wuh-we’re easy targets.”

“Are you alright?” Gwendolyn nodded, but Mildred put a hand to her forehead for good measure.  _ She's Burning up.  _ “Here, sit back. I think I’ve got some aspirin in my purse.”

How she had managed to keep it on her arm as she ran, she would never know. Mildred’s fingers trembled as she rummaged through the contents of her bag. The voice of one of her foster mothers echoed through her ear canals.  _ Hurry up, you stupid girl! _ Mildred set her jaw and she emptied the contents onto the forest floor. Her ears detected the shake of pills against plastic before her eyes could make out the shape of the bottle in the dim light. “Open, damnit.” She grunted, face going red. Gwendolyn realized it’s thing to a swear she’d ever heard her utter. 

“Mildred.” Gwendolyn mumbled. “Mildred, it’s alright. Here let me see it.”

Mildred obeyed, and she opened with ease. Heat spread up her necks all the way to the tips of her ears. In better light, Mildred imagined she would be the color of a radish.

“I’m fine, anyway. I just need to catch my breath.” Gwendolyn swallowed two pills dry, and offered her a solid smile. “Haven’t run like that since college.”

Mildred failed to stifle the smile that rose on her own lips.  _ How is she so good at that? Knowing how to calm me down? _ “Are you sure you’re alright? I could go back and see if they’ve gone. I could go get the car.” She was pushing herself up before the other woman had a chance to answer. 

But Gwendolyn shook her head. “Not yet. Give them a little while and we can go back together.” She took Mildred’s hand, pulling her gently back next to her. 

Despite Gwen’s stable demeanor, tears prickled the corner of her eyes as she grappled with the notion that this was all her fault; that if she hadn’t insisted on coming her, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Mildred studied her like a child meeting a baby for the first time. Her lips puckered into a soft frown, and she brushed her thumb across her lash line.  _ This is all wrong _ . She scorned as she pressed a kiss Gwendolyn’s sweat soaked cheekbone. 

“How long until it’ll be safe to go back?” Mildred’s spine tingled at the sounds of creatures creeping through the underbrush. She needed to get away from this place, to get  _ Gwendolyn _ away from this place. Every breath felt like poison tarnishing her lungs, gnarling her nervous system until she wasn’t sure if she was aching out of discomfort or sheer numbness.

“A l-little longer.”

“Your wrist, how does it feel?”

“It’s fine, it’s -  _ fuck! _ ” Gwendolyn hissed when Mildred pulled it up to study it, bending her fingers downward. Her brow furrowed.  _ It’s not fine. It’s not, and you did this to her. Stupid, insolant, no good- _ “Ok, so it’s a bit tender. I’ll be fine.” Gwendolyn smirked, chuckling softly and sending a gust of warm breath across Mildred’s face. “Say, you know there’s something you could do to take my mind off it.”

Mildred perked an eyebrow up. “Oh, and what’s - mph!” 

Her words were stifled by Gwendolyn’s lips on hers - soft, gentle, with the slight burn of whiskey still on her breath. She tasted better than anyone Mildred had ever kissed before. Any inclination of concern she may have had that someone could come across them was pummeled as Gwendolyn slid her tongue between her teeth. Mildred half sighed half moaned. She could feel the other woman smiling into the embrace. Her hands crept up Mildred’s ribcage and across the expansion of her shoulder blades. Gwendolyn brought her thumb to the hallow of her neck, tilting her chin back and kissing her jawline. Mildred let out of a hum of pleasure. Her eyes rolled towards the sky, lashes fluttering.  _ It looks like the moon is winking at me _ . She smiled when Gwendolyn’s lips reached her clavicle. 

“Marco!”

Mildred snapped to attention as she pushed Gwendolyn off of her, scrambling backwards and landing in the contents of her emptied purse. The world spun as her bruised cranium worked in overtime to identify the voice.

Gwendolyn let out a laugh like wind chimes. “Relax, we’re not in any danger.”

Mildred’s face contorted.  _ What on earth does she mean? Someone is out here with us! _

“I said mother fuckin’  _ MARCO!”  _

“Gloria?” Gwendolyn nodded.

“Polo! We’re over here, follow my voice!”

Like apparitions, Gloria, Camille, and Lainey crawled through the blanket of trees. Camille and Lainey both had their shoes in their hands, miraculously having enough time to discard them before they scattered with the rest of the crowd. 

“Alright, Gwenny?” Gloria nodded, flicking the butt of her cigarette. “You’re not as young as you used to be.”

Gwendolyn smirked. “You’re  _ older _ than me, Gloria.”

The blonde merely shrugged. “Some night, huh? I thought our track n’ field days were over.”

Mildred’s eyes narrowed. “ _ You _ ran track and field?”

“I told you I haven’t run like this since college.” Gwendolyn smiled, pecking her swiftly on the cheek.  _ She’s so warm. God, I love her.  _

Lainey fidgeted with the buckle of one of her shoes, jaw set unnaturally as her eyes darted to her surroundings. “Goddamn fascists.” She muttered, with fervor that seemed out of place on her delicate demeanor. “Who the hell do they think they are, anyway, gatekeeping who we love?” Once more Mildred found the youngest amongst them to be an amalgam of contradictions, this time shocking at the fortitude of her words.

Camille placed an arm around her shoulder, willing her to hand her shoes over. Lainey stifled a low sob by burying her face into the neck of her chosen mother. “S’alright, sweetheart. No use shedding tears over something we can’t fix.” The brunette swayed at the force of the teen knocking into her chest. Mildred watched the scene unfold. Her chest tightening when she considered how terribly she had misjudged the young girl upon first meeting her.  _ How terribly I misjudged all of them … _

Ignoring Lainey’s wails, Gloria dropped her cigarette and flattened it beneath her Oxford shoe. “I reckon it’s safe to go back now.”

“Probably so.” Gwendolyn nodded before turning back to Mildred. “Help me up?”

Mildred bit her lip as Gwendolyn balanced between her and the tree. Once standing, she collected her items back into her purse, and followed the others back through the underbrush. Nighttime glistened in the pale moonlight. Lights still flooded the inside of the bar, but the bustle that had once consumed it was long gone, replaced with a thick silence. A few stragglers had begun filtering back towards their cars. Some followed them out of the underbrush, others from various hiding spots throughout the wood dense landscape. They looked like zombies in their stoicism, and Mildred shuttered. The five women made their way back towards the parking lot, but not before Gloria could pull out her best spy impersonation to peak around the side of the building and check for anyone who posed a threat. On her approval, they walked leisurely back to their respective cars, chatting and laughing about the events of the evening.

“It was nice meeting you, Mildred.” Lainey embraced her before leaving, catching her off guard but not leaving her displeased. Mildred returned the hug, arms carefully folding across the small of her back. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

Gloria grunted her agreement, winking and flashing her a tobacco-yellowed smile. 

Mildred heaved a heavy sigh when she finally sunk into the passenger seat. Her back pressed against the cool leather, and she reveled at the tingle it elicited. The lights flickered when Gwendolyn turned the key. She twisted the knob on the radio. “Are you alright to drive? Your wrist…”

“Is  _ fine. _ ” She said unconvincingly. “Besides, you could barely focus back there. Are you sure you’re ok? You don’t want to talk?”

Mildred nodded. “I … hit my head.” She tapped her index finger against her temple, grimacing at the pressure that shot through her retinas.

“Well, all in all not our most successful date night, then.” Gwendolyn offered her a lopsided smile. “I suppose we should both see a doctor.”

As much as she wanted to argue, Mildred held her tongue when the radio static sent her eyes fluttering shut. Gwendolyn toggled with the tuner until she found a clear channel. 

_ “In my heart I have but one desire, and that one is you; no other will do. _ ”

“I guess the universe was listening when I said I loved this song. “ Gwendolyn smiled, placing a hand lovingly on Mildred's thigh. “It’s ours now.”


End file.
